Wednesday, November 30, 2005

I'm a Snot


Being sick is no good. Being sick during Thanksgiving is worse.

I could sort of taste my mom's home cooking, but didn't have much of an appetite. At least it was very good being home around family and funny peeps in the hood. That place gets mo' ghetto every time I go visit. Murders at the CornerStone Bar getting too close for comfort. The rents really need to move out of the city...

Springfield, MA "placed" in the top 20 most dangerous cities in America according to a report released just last week. Spfld would like to thank God, and of course its loyal citizens for this award. Special shout-out to drug dealers in the North End, and to the Latin Kings and Los Solitos. I'm sure I'm forgetting some rival inner city gangs, but it's been a while since I've officially resided there. I love Boston, but Springfield will always be "home" to me. The city would also like to thank Bill Cosby for his sincere help with some students and their college tuition. His benevolence is greatly appreciated and perhaps will help the city not to win this award in the future.

"Jimmy Hester and Loren Wilder, a pair of Putnam graduates who garnered national attention when Cosby offered to pay their college tuition after hearing how the boys made education a priority while supporting themselves throughout high school."

I knew it was tough growing up there, but I didn't think it was this bad. Lucky for me I befriended some gang members (sup Carlos & Eddie) at the Civic Center where we worked and they freely bestowed their protection on my gringa self (and gave me free Friendly's sundaes--such sweethearts those guys were). They also taught me some useful Spanish phrases like deja la hodienda and other choice words.

OVERALL: (350 cities)
1. Detroit, MI
2. St. Louis, MO
3. Atlanta, GA (Holla LadyLove)
4. Camden, NJ
5. Washington, DC (Holla Elizabeth)
6. Compton, CA
7. Dayton, OH
8. Baltimore, MD
9. Tampa, FL (Holla Brian and Gary)
10. Gary, IN
11. Memphis, TN
12. North Charleston, SC
13. New Orleans, LA (Holla Michael)
14. Richmond, VA
15. Trenton, NJ
16. Jackson, MS
17. Cincinnati, OH
18. Youngstown, OH
19. Cleveland, OH
20. Springfield, MA (Too many Hollas to shout)
21. Oakland, CA
22. Birmingham, AL
23. Miami, FL
24. Richmond, CA
25. Reading, PA

Mad props to Newton, MA for being named the safest city in America The city received the distinction as the Safest City by the Morgan Quitno Press, and it is based on our city’s rate for six basic crime categories: murder, rape, robbery, aggravated assault, burglary and motor vehicle theft. This year there were no reported murders, and we had the lowest overall crime and motor vehicle theft rates among 369 cities with a population of 75,000 or more. Well at least I live right down the street from this safe haven, maybe the goodness will spill over to the Boston line...if only I could afford a first house there...

Props to my Somerville homeboy (that city also placed high on the danger list) who sent me this link that is sure to bring a laugh or two.

I'm out. Peace.

Friday, November 25, 2005

The Running of the Bulls Balderdash

Capitalism at its Best!

Spain is not the only country to breed idiotic traditions, though the Running of the Bulls during the Fiesta of San Fermin is a strong contender for the International Moronic Nonsense Award. Our nation has its own stupid version. Albeit, far less dangerous and inhumane, but stupid nonetheless. It's the Fiesta that is Black Friday. Now I have been known to navigate CambridgeSide Galleria with the best of them, but never on the darkest of days...

For those of you still putting around the house in a post-turkey day stupor here's what you missed:

This is the most promotional Black Friday we have seen," said Scott Krugman, a spokesman for the Washington-based National Retail Federation.

The bargains were so good at Wal-Mart Stores Inc., which offered better deals than last year, that things got out of hand. In Cascade Township, east of Grand Rapids, Mich., a woman fell as dozens of people rushed into a store for the 5 a.m. opening. Several stepped on her, and a few became entangled as a man pushed them to the ground to keep them away.

When the rush ended, the woman and a 13-year-old girl suffered minor injuries.

In nearby Grandville, Mich., two shoppers were hurt when they slipped on a wet floor as they entered a Wal-Mart, fire Lt. Lynnae White said. One of the injured was after a bargain notebook computer, he said. Neither was hurt seriously.

The same computer discount was the catalyst for trouble at a Wal-Mart in Orlando, Fla., where a man allegedly cut in line to buy one. He was wrestled to the ground, according to a video shown by an ABC affiliate, WFTV-TV.

Discounted notebooks, particularly the $378 HP Pavilion notebooks, were not the only attractions at Wal-Mart, which also sold out of its $997 52-inch plasma TV sets and 15-inch LCD TVs, priced at $178, in many stores, according to Gail Lavielle, a Wal-Mart spokeswoman. But apparel and toys also did well, she said.

One consumer summed it up best with this line:

"It's a little rough but heh," said Lorenzo DeMassino, 31, who bought Game Boy items at the store.

For all that I hate the commercialism and materialistic frenzy that has manifested itself into the Holiday spirit of giving, Black Friday Madness isn't as dumb as Spain's famous tradition. For those of you who have never been to that part of Europe in July here's what you're missing:

This is the moment of truth in the Bull-Running : the bulls run like the very devil. It´s impossible to race them or even keep up with them for very long (interesting information for anyone with athletic pretensions) : The way to do it is, to start off slowly when the bulls are still a good distance behind, and as they draw nearer start running like the devil, before they get too close, hang in near them for a short time, as near as you are prepared to risk your skin, and then get out of the way as cleanly as possible. Be careful not to cross the paths of other runners. Look for a gap in the fence to slip through or jump over, or a space against the wall of the street.

As well as the danger inherent in running in front of a bull (it's worth remembering that this is an animal which weights about 600 kilos - some 120 stone - and which has two big rock-hard horns which can cut through practically anything, not to mention possible bruising from just being stepped on, there is also the problem of overcrowding in the run. So you have to be careful not to get bowled over or knocked down by other runners. The crowding is particularly dense at the weekends where the number of visitors to the Fiesta more than doubles.

The run began to some extent through necessity. In those far-off days there were no such things as trucks. But as the [stupid morons] enjoyed the fun of taking the risks it has been kept up so that nowadays it is a spectacle in which thousands of people take part.

On the 15th there is a parody of the run made by some die-hards who refuse to face the fact that the Fiesta is all over and who run in front of the early-morning bus which comes up Santo Domingo street.

At least natural selection will thin out the 'die hards' before they have a chance to breed more stupidity. I'm rooting for the bulls!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things...

Thanksgiving is nearly upon us and I think if you take a quiet moment you'll realize how much you truly have in this world for which to be thankful.

I would like to take a moment for some 2005 Thanksgiving shout-outs!

1) To My Love: I thank God for you every day. You're the best person I know in this world, and you make me a better person.

2) My Family: For shaping me into the woman I am today, and for always giving their love, support and home cooking.

3) My Homies: I have an awesome bunch of friends and I wouldn't get by without them (The Beatles song rings true).

4) My Cats: Meow, mrm, meow meow. Mer meow. It's true. Purrr...

5) The Wedding Extravaganza: It was everything I dreamed it would be.

6) Hawaii Honeymoon: Aloha au ia 'oe Hawai'i! Maui Noi Ka Oi.

7) Music: The heartstrings of the soul that come to life through song.

"Close your eyes, let your spirit
start to soar! And you'll live
as you've never lived before...
Softly, deftly,
music shall surround you...
Feel it, hear it,
closing in around you...
Open up your mind,
let your fantasies unwind,
in this darkness which
you know you cannot fight -
the darkness of
the music of the night..."
--Phantom of the Opera

8) Hope: The strength that gets you through the dark times, and allows you to smile in the face of adversity.

"Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul.
And sings the tune
Without the words,
and never stops at all.
-Emily Dickinson

9) Dreams: Always believe in their beauty and chase them where ever they make take you...

10) Good Will: This holiday season, save time for family and friends, but also try taking some time out to volunteer in your community. Share a smile with a child at Starlight Starbright Children's Foundation or serve hungry homeless citizens with the Greater Boston Foodbank.

Special Shout-Out to The Big Guy Upstairs!

Although not specified on this list He is everpresent in all aspects of life. I am most thankful to God for providing me with life and love, and Jesus for spreading that message to us. So those are my major/basic thank yous...

What wlll you give thanks to this year?

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

The Devil Wears Prada

And so does the new Pope?
I was flipping channels today and on CNN Headlines News they covered a most intriguing story--the Pope has been wearing the latest Red Shoe fashion trend! WOW! So shocking.

November 21, 2005 -- The devil isn't the only wearing Prada. Pope Benedict XVI is generating a reputation as a man of the designer cloth - thanks to his penchant for wearing lipstick-red Prada shoes.

Have we really stooped down to such a superficial level? Aren't there more important things to focus on about the Pope than his choice of footwear? It's apparently all the buzz and Prada cannot comment on the story or verify if they are indeed their brand of shoes.
Perhaps CNN should do some more research and see if these shoes might have historical meaning...but instead they showed a clip from the Wizard of Oz and compared this significant style watch to Dorothy's ruby slippers. One quick source writes:

I have noticed that Benedict XVI IS wearing the red papal shoes. He has gone back to the tradition of wearing them. These shoes are also supplied by Gammarelli and are made of red leather. They have been worn by popes since the times of the Roman empire.
Next speculation focuses on his possible designer shades:

According to the scuttlebutt from Rome, the new pope is also turning heads by wearing Gucci sunglasses.

Watch out Tyra! The Pope might be the next top model.

Friday, November 18, 2005

There She Goes...

There she goes again.
Ah the lovely Gale Norton. I really don't follow politics enough to know many no names, but Grizzly Gale is becoming a common name in my political database of knowledge. I'm guessing she hates animals (never trust anyone who dislikes animals), and/or she has some financial stake in logging, cattle, or oil like good old Bushy.

Interior Secretary Gale Norton said Tuesday that grizzly bear recovery has been a success because of cooperation between state and federal governments, along with biologists and conservation groups. She added, though, that the Bush Administration would like to see the law focused more on recovery efforts than on penalizing landowners who find endangered species on their land. Paraphrased as, "Let's lift the ban on killing Grizzly Bears!"

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The Yellowstone grizzly bear is an irreplaceable part of America's natural heritage, a symbol of the independence that defines the American character and an icon of all that is wild and free. Since it was first listed as "threatened" under the Endangered Species Act in 1975, the grizzly bear has made a strong recovery. But, since then threats to their habitat have only amplified, and sprawling development, oil and gas drilling, logging, roadbuilding, and off-road vehicles are crowding grizzly bears out of the last pockets of wilderness they need to survive. Without strong habitat protections in place, the long-term survival of the bear requires the safety net of the Endangered Species Act.

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Too many threats remain for the Yellowstone grizzly without the Endangered Species Act in place. Management plans for the National Forests surrounding Yellowstone, where many grizzlies find their homes, have yet to be finalized, and managing the Yellowstone grizzly after delisting will cost state and federal agencies an estimated $3.4 million dollars per year-over a million dollars per year more than current funding levels.


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So what are you waiting for?!?! Go do some good in this world.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

God Show Me the Way-

Because the Devil Tryin' Break Me Down.

I need to recruit all the soldiers...
All of God's soldiers.

So I've met a lot of God's Soldiers lately, and they are all very nice and fun to grab a beer with at the Pub after a delcious spaghetti supper. They are a welcome change of pace from the unpleasant parts of life when The Devil Tryin' to Break Me Down. Singing in the choir has been a blessed release, and meeting peeps like Sister O. et al. has been inspirational to say the least. As a result I'm learning not to struggle as much with life's problems, but to stand strong and remain peaceful in their midst. It is exactly what this tired young soul needed.

In other news: check out Kanye's latest album; c'est tres bien!
For now let's rewind to his debut hit--my favorite song of his...

To the hustlas, killers, murderers, drug dealers even the strippers
(Jesus walks with them)
To the victims of Welfare for we living in hell here hell yeah
(Jesus walks with them)

Now hear ye hear ye want to see Thee more clearly
I know He hear me when my feet get weary
Cuz we're the almost nearly extinct
We rappers are role models we rap we don't think

I ain't here to argue about his facial features
Or here to convert atheists into believers
I'm just trying to say the way school need teachers
The way Kathie Lee needed Regis that's the way yall need Jesus

So here go my single dog radio needs this
They say you can rap about anything except for Jesus
That means guns, sex, lies, video tapes
But if I talk about God my record won't get played Huh?

Well let this take away from my spins
Which will probably take away from my ends
Then I hope it take away from my sins
And bring the day that I'm dreaming about
Next time I'm in the club everybody screaming out

Jesus Walks
God show me the way because the devil trying to break me down
(Jesus Walks with me)
The only thing that I pray is that me feet don't fail me now
(Jesus Walks)
And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs
(Jesus Walks with me)
I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long...

Thursday, November 10, 2005

And Now For Our Feature Presentation!

Ladies & Gentlemen!

The moment you've all been waiting for...
The wonderfully fabulous, highly unattainable, Beautiful Beer Maid Sophie!

She definitely had the best costume this Halloween, but the competition was steep.
Honorable mention include:

*The Sexy Johnny Damon aka My Husband
*The Looks-More-Like-a-Supermodel Martha Stewart
*The Aussie Cowgal ft. Kanga
*The Overly Excited Hawaiian Tourist ft. Hula Hello Kitty
*The Doc as The Overworked Resident

and who could forget?!?!?!

*Simba as the Embarassed "Too-Fat-to-Fit-in-the-Made-for-a-Small-Dog-Costume" Lion
*Darling Darla as The "Too-Cute-for-Words" Ladybug

In the end the Beer Princess won all the votes with her beauty and endless supply of alcohol. Everyone put in a good effort, but there can only be one Big Kahuna.

Just wait until my Hawaiian Hula Princess costume arrives...I'll wear it everyday, and when you try to tell me that I'm crazy and should really let Hawai'i go and face the fact that I live in Boston now and it's cold, I'll just laugh in your face and Hula around you. I'm sure the coconut bra will keep me warm...

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Welcome to Tahiti

I perchanced upon Kate Jackson's Pointy Universe once after spending time on my Eastie HomeGirl's Blog and it has some amusing stuff. My favorite post was by Vito the Pug. I'm sure he and Simba would get along swimmingly.

Here is an excerpt from one of her most recent posts:

Random Quizilla

Nothing wakes one up like a Red Bull and a pop quizilla. The Pointy Universe will feature these random 5-question brainers from time-to-time. Feel free to post your answers in the comments...or not.

1) Why did Theo really leave? We'll probably never know the real reason. But it's much easier to stay true to your principles and believe in your future success when you have as many options as Theo has. If we walked away from our "dream jobs" the day we discovered we were smarter than our bosses, we'd simply be unemployed idiots, not visionary renegades. It helps to be rich, brilliant and hot, hot, hot when you're seeking higher purpose and meaning. The only thing I'm seeking is a moment in the day to take a shower.

I'd like to take a moment and reveal the true insider information that only a foxy girl like me could dig up. Theo is making plans to go to Tahiti for a year long vacation, and his best friend, Penny Lane, has been requested to accompany him.

Now I know what you're thinking: Don't you have a job and, more importantly, a husband to tend to? Well, yes, which is why I will soon have to quit my job Theo-style, and only fly there on the condition that my favorite husband can come along. If you don't hear from me all winter it's cause I'm bathing on the beach. Ah, it'll be sweet...

For those of you who don't have a young, rich friend like Theo to whisk you away for a year, and you still want to quit, I would suggest you check out Noah's Blog on the 10 best ways to quit your crappy job.

Personally, I loved 7 and 8, but if you do plan on doing this please take Kate's advice and try to have an escape plan. I wouldn't want you to become an unemployed idiot.

Bonne Chance and Bon Voyage!

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

C'est L'Halloween!

ou c'etait l'Halloween, but that's not how the song goes according to Madame Baker-Farnsworth (my middle school french teacher, may she rest in peace).

It snowed on the Saturday before Halloween this year. I love the feel of a first snow.

Darla, easily fooled as always, thought she could swat the snow outside our window. Simba was embarassed to be related to her as she gave the DiRocafella family line a bad name.


Simba hated his Lion costume and was embarrassed once again. He did get plenty of (cat) treats for putting up with this trick.

The secret is out: I married Johnny Damon! Cha-ching!

In other news: Darling Darla loved her Ladybug costume...

so much she fell over with delight!