A reason to visit NYC.
The deal is all but done: Johnny will be trading his sexy Red Sox for ugly pajama-like stripes. Already this great centerfielder's sexiness factor has gone down a notch. I never really thought Johnny was superstar hot until he seemed to not care what he looked like--and suddenly that was hot, hot, hot! He stopped shaving and said idiotic things, but he was still a good, lovable guy shaving his beard in Copley for charity. Now he'll be shaving his beard for Georgy Boy and his $52 million purse for 4 years (12 more than what Boston was going to give him). I always enjoyed watching him slam into the Green Monster to make that Web Gem catch, but when he grew his hair out he became something more--he elevated to rock star status.
I'm not worried about our team's record for 2006, even without Theo's genius (OK I'm a little worried!) but I am concerned about losing 25% of the fan population--the female factor. Theo and Damon were the two best looking guys on the team (and my Nomar back in the day). Lucky for me I understand the game and how complex and intricate moves can be, but not all girls are like that. There are the girls who sit in front of you in the grandstand and gossip the whole game, the ones who don't even have the courtesy to stand up and pretend to care if Big Papi hit the ball off the Coke bottles again. You know the ones, they're easy to spot in their pretty in pink Damon baby doll tee. The pink shirt girls (Sox hoochies as my friend Steve calls them) are usually single and man-hungry. They wear the shirts as bait for a fun loving baseball guy and then they ring him in like a fish on a hook. The gossip girls usually dress in witch-toed heels and gucci pants and redo their make-up after every inning (a hard thing to maintain on those sweaty summer days in the sun-drenched bleacher seats).
I always liked Jason Giambi even when he went to the Yankees, but he was so much better looking (and a better player!) before he went to the Yankees. For those of you who don't know George Steinbrenner has a strict no facial hair policy, except mustaches but those are kinda creepy. Seinfeld would say he's The Hair Nazi. Poor Giambi looked whipped and neutered after he became a Yankee, and I fear Johnny will suffer the same fate.
I hope our beloved caveman enjoys his last World Series ring since everyone knows that the Yankees,
no matter how much money they throw around, are suffering from the curse of the A-Rod! I'm sure they'll still win 95 games, but the post-season drought may just last the next 86 years...Good luck JD! We'll miss you, still love you, and wish you well!
2 comments:
JD can no longer be my straight baseball boyfriend.... so sad, but I just can't date a yankee
Yeah thankfully my husband is a real Red Sox fan, born and raised. Damon's hotness factor will go down the drain just like A-Rod's, though at least he's better than Jeter. I think we should acquire Matsui, he's too cool to be a Yankee, and Bernie Williams too.
At least we might get Roger Clemens back--that would be awesome!
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