It's Not Just Boston Fans Who Are Crazy...

Dog gets dyed blue by insane Giants fan; grants me an interview

By MJD

WNYW in New York is holding a "How True Blue Are You?" contest, soliciting fan submissions of photographs that show how loyal fans are to the Giants. Joe Gannascoli, the man who played Vito Spatafore on The Sopranos submitted a picture of he and his wife holding their dog, which they had, in support of the Giants, dyed blue.

Gannascoli appeared on Good Day New York this morning to put his Giants fever on display. Meanwhile, I reached out to the dog himself, and he was good enough to grant me the following interview.

MJD: Good morning, sir. I couldn't help but notice you're blue.

Blue Dog: You're a sharp one.

MJD: It doesn't sound like you're happy about this.

Blue Dog: Ya think so, pal? How would you like it if you woke up tomorrow morning and you were blue from head to toe? Come on, buddy. I freak out when I get those weird brown rings under my eyes, and I'm supposed to be happy when I'm turquoise? And thanks for that, by the way ... you dolts couldn't even get me a decent shade of blue. I gotta walk around here in freakin' pastels.

MJD: Yeah, that shade may be more appropriate for Easter.

Blue Dog: I'm not a bunny rabbit, either, douchebag.

MJD: Do you see any upside to the dying?

Blue Dog: At least they left my crotch white. That way, my tongue doesn't turn blue.

MJD: That's good. So, do you even like the Giants?

Blue Dog: The Giants? I don't even know who the hell they are. Who are these Giants people keep talking about? How damn big are they? 10 feet? 20 feet? Is that was all this Cloverfield nonsense is about?

MJD: No, they're not actual Giants. They're normal sized people. "Giants" is just the nickname for a football team.

Blue Dog: Oh, great ... that makes sense. Yeah, because dogs love football. I love it when they do that blitzing and the diving and the homeruns and stuff. Yeah, it's great ... hike me the pigskin and I'll dunk it.

MJD: You're not interested in football?

Blue Dog: I'M A DOG, BUDDY. I'm interested in meat, things that are made to look, taste or smell like meat, screwing with the cat, and licking myself. That's about as far as it goes.

MJD: Do you have any plans for the Super Bowl?

Blue Dog: Yeah, smart guy, I do. I'm gonna walk around at some idiot's Super Bowl party, and a bunch of morons are going to pet me and go, "Awww, look at you! You must love the Giants!" You know, like I had some choice in being blue. Before the party's over, though, I'm gonna bite a kid's finger off and pee on an old lady.

MJD: That actually doesn't sound like a bad party.

Blue Dog: You wanna come? You can come ... but if you show up without some industrial strength dog shampoo, I'm gonna pee on your foot.

MJD: I have other plans. Thanks for the time, though.

Blue Dog: Ah, shove it.